Dear Self,
You are a Chunky Chicken. Currently you weigh the most you have ever weighed in your entire life and if you stepped on the Wii Fit scale it would put you in the overweight if not obesse section. Granted your are not a fat ass who is inactive or lazy, but you do enjoy your food and drink a little too much for a young girl. Loose weight.
How do we do this? Well you already know. You work out at the gym, we know how to diet, you know what it takes to be strict on yourself... the only part that is left is just to do it. I do not want to look back years from now as a heavier person and think that I was skinny now. I want to look back and say, "damn I was a curvy sexy lady who worked hard and is a tighter curvier sexy lady now." When I have babies, I DO NOT want to reach 200lbs. I'd probably loose my mind if that happened, so guess what, we got some work and dtermination to do so that I can loose weight now and be about this weight when I get pregers in the future.... I really can't handle being any bigger than I am now and I don't want this to be my norm anymore. Get to work :)
Love,
Yourself
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
Stressin!!
Sometimes I really do believe I'm crazy. My boyfriend is good to me: he treats me better than any guy I've ever been with and yet, I am dead scared to seriously trust him. This leads to my being a dramatic about some things, over thinking, worrying when there is no reason to worry, and constantly comparing what I did for him versus what he did for me. I have one word for myself at times when I'm crazy= immature!!! I need to really shake this aspect because I get so worked up about things that its physically and emotionally upsets me at times.
Last night Boyfriend and I had a serious conversation about how I have been feeling unhappy in the relationship. Its not that he is not good to me or that i don't care for him, its just that he has so many stresses in his life that when he's with me he doesn't want to do anything.... well, i get bored easily, so hello, Let's play! In this way, I admit I am like a kid, but who doesn't like doing things with their boyfriend talking exploring each other's thoughts and bodies and worlds. Well i like these things very much and I got very fed up with coming over and helping him clean up or cook something and then just sitting by idle while he watches TV and doesn't speak. Not cool....
so I said something. And though it came out in varied ways, it came out and i feel better about it now. And best of all he received it well. After that, he became more attentive and playful- aka, what I liked about him in the first place.
This little revelation made me realise that its not the girl's fault they she start feeling a little frantic or crazy at times, its the general relationships fault. When a guy starts to change and slip, which ALL MEN will try to change and slip with the attentiveness, its our jobs to let them know how we feel, keep them in check, and hopefully they love you enough to wake up and do something. All men put on a good show at the beginning of a relationship because they really want to impress us. Once they've succeeded, the stop impressing us and women feel like the rug is pulled out from under them! "What happened to that fun guy I met," is the common thought that runs through women's minds. Well that fun guy is still there he just needs to be reminded that that's the guy we want to talk to.
So when my boyfriend said to me last night, "you expect me to be 100% all the time." FUCK YES, I expect you to give me 100% of yourself all the time because despite the stress of my job and my life, I give you 100% of myself when I'm with you and if you want to be in a fair and equal relationship then you must give me 100% of that which i deserve. Plus women, just because a man overexerts himself at work, does not mean we need to suffer for it. He needs to learn how to balance or how to work in both areas a little harder. We have our needs and that's all we are looking for them to meet. Don't let them slip, because you will be the one regretting it in the long run.
Last night Boyfriend and I had a serious conversation about how I have been feeling unhappy in the relationship. Its not that he is not good to me or that i don't care for him, its just that he has so many stresses in his life that when he's with me he doesn't want to do anything.... well, i get bored easily, so hello, Let's play! In this way, I admit I am like a kid, but who doesn't like doing things with their boyfriend talking exploring each other's thoughts and bodies and worlds. Well i like these things very much and I got very fed up with coming over and helping him clean up or cook something and then just sitting by idle while he watches TV and doesn't speak. Not cool....
so I said something. And though it came out in varied ways, it came out and i feel better about it now. And best of all he received it well. After that, he became more attentive and playful- aka, what I liked about him in the first place.
This little revelation made me realise that its not the girl's fault they she start feeling a little frantic or crazy at times, its the general relationships fault. When a guy starts to change and slip, which ALL MEN will try to change and slip with the attentiveness, its our jobs to let them know how we feel, keep them in check, and hopefully they love you enough to wake up and do something. All men put on a good show at the beginning of a relationship because they really want to impress us. Once they've succeeded, the stop impressing us and women feel like the rug is pulled out from under them! "What happened to that fun guy I met," is the common thought that runs through women's minds. Well that fun guy is still there he just needs to be reminded that that's the guy we want to talk to.
So when my boyfriend said to me last night, "you expect me to be 100% all the time." FUCK YES, I expect you to give me 100% of yourself all the time because despite the stress of my job and my life, I give you 100% of myself when I'm with you and if you want to be in a fair and equal relationship then you must give me 100% of that which i deserve. Plus women, just because a man overexerts himself at work, does not mean we need to suffer for it. He needs to learn how to balance or how to work in both areas a little harder. We have our needs and that's all we are looking for them to meet. Don't let them slip, because you will be the one regretting it in the long run.
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