Thanks John Mayer!

There is something good in the world when you can go to a Barnes & Noble, read a magazine article about one of your favorite singers, drink a Chi Tea, and just smile. I haven't written to you in a while because the last week or two has been hell. I decided to throw my self respect out the window again when i let India walk back into my life for God knows what number this is now. A spiral of self destruction is something I constantly slip in and out of, one has to wonder when I'd learn to stop myself. I think perhaps one day things will be different, but then I fear that different may be way too boring...

Nonetheless, I sit here now after days emotional turmoil, distress, and continual self analysis to simply find that I am utterly entertained by the idea of being surrounded by the world when I am on the brink of tears and self implosion. In this Barnes & Nobles not a single person knows who I am, where I come from, and what I have or have not done in my life. This feeling of complete detachment and complete immersion thrills me to the core. Also, the stellar jams that are pumping through the sound system helps, as does an article on John Mayer that is as absurd as he wants it to be. I'd live in his crazy world for a while as long as the two of us shared the truth, while the rest of the world dabbles in our web of lies or antics. John inspires me a bit tonight, letting go of the care and stress of one's life and instead molding it into what you want it to be is truly the way to go.

"The Loss of Certainty," that is the book that is starring at me. I wonder what God's intent is with this book. "How did you get to me, how did you get to my happiness, my love, love, love." These are the lyrics playing on the radio. As I came here tonight in order to escape the misery of a broken heart, misspoken emotional words, and a general state of lonely depression, I catch the things around me and know deep inside why He's put the there. Detachment is needed not from the world but from yourself and the tangled web you create for yourself. Reentry in the world, the observations, the awakening to that which is around you, that's what sets you free.