Moments

Oh the weekends come and the weekends go leaving behind moments and memories, either exuberant or melancholy. This weekend contained both these emotions through varying forms of entertainment and time passing events. But in the end, a good weekend was had by this Diva.

Kicking off the frivolities of the weekends was a Ladies Night to rival any other. Dressing to impress and experimenting with make up and hair, three of my good friends and I traveled to Stir in Chinatown for an Open Bar and some good music. It was great to just dance. I love dancing and being silly with girl friends without a care of who's watching, who's trying to impress, and who wants or doesn't want to dance with you. As Dane Cook said, "Fuck guys, I just wanna dance!" That was my night and I loved it.

Saturday, however, was a bit different... It was a laundry and hangover recovery day, which means I was trapped inside until the evening when I went to play pool with some friends. Those in house chore days can either be amazing and productive or boring and slightly agonizing. This past Saturday was a boring, slightly agonizing one. I putzed around for most of the day doing chores, cleaning, and doing some computer work, but overall I just wasn't motivated to do much. Out of no where, I kept having moments of sadness. These are the moments when your memory decides to be vivid and heart aching. I kept thinking of the cute moments India and I had spent together. The moments cuddling, the time he gave me presents surprise presents, or the night we played under the covers and said we were making a tent as if we were five again. Sometimes the bad moments completely out shine the good, but the good ones always seem to come back when the saga is over. It seems unfair almost, but things come and go for a reason and normally knowing the bad in a relationship helps to make those deciding decisions, where as knowing the good can cloud the overall judgment.

After a fun day doing chores out of the house, I returned to Baltimore with a procrastinating mentality. Choosing a few hours of Hot Coco and a good book instead of paying bills and computer work, I slipped again into a little moment of sadness. Despite the productive day, India still crept back into my mind. This time my conscientiousness decided to bring back the memory of the first time we ever spent one on one time together. I walked down my apartment stairs to go fetch him from the parking lot, and there he was walking towards me in a button down pink shirt, freshly cut hair, and a confident stride. He was gorgeous and yet so nervous as I moved in closer for a hug. I wonder where that man went throughout this ordeal...

After this past year of relationship turmoil, I've decided to stay away from men for a little while. Friday was an amazing "Single Lady Liberation Night," and I intend on keeping the "Fuck guys, I just wanna dance" mentality. I just want to have fun and focus on my own life, career, and giving back to the community. I think efforts in these areas will not only bring a sense of balance back into my life, but it will also give a sense of purpose. Advancing one's self is one of the best ways to end the frequency of those little tinges of sadness and simply to help move forward to happier moments.