Habits are hard to kick!

If there is one thing I am, its constant. This characteristic is a strange one because it is comprised of several others: stubbornness, strong will, determination, a blind ignorance at times, and a hint of patients. Like any characteristic, it can be good at times or bad... right now, its a habit that is a hard one to kick...

I woke up this morning completely scatter brained. Side Note: This phrase is funny to me because people miss use it all the time. If you have a lot to do but try to work through it in some sort of methodological way, that's not scatter brained, that's just busy. But when you wake up and can't focus your mind on one single thing and decide on just a simple "what do I do next," now that is scatter brained and the description of my psychy this morning. My reasoning for why I woke up in such a mentally haphazard way is that I got used to talking to India. If it was sending a text "good morning," or seeing him on gchat at some point and exchanging words, or even a face to face encounter... I simply got used to him being some way, shape, or form in my communication stream. Perhaps at this point I should mention that our communications were typically not exciting, intellectual, or enjoyable the majority of the time, but they were still there, they were still a habit that I now need to break. I read in my "Why Men love Bitches" book that stopping the thought of the person, the minor (or major) obsession with the person in your life and your in theirs, is the hardest part of moving on and letting go. At least now I am at that stage where I am actively trying to let it go! So as I walked to work this morning, I attempted to focus on at least one thing and on at least something that wasn't India or talking to India. It kind of worked but nonetheless, I am now writing a blog about it :)

PS: My scatter mentality also led me to be the most amazing fashion faux-pas ever. Lets just say my outfit included all of these colors: royal blue, grey, white, deep purple, black, and a lime green bag... Sometimes I wonder what the passing cars think as they see me stroll to work... today was probably, "That's an interesting outfit," or "I think someone had a rough night." It was wonderful!