Today, I want to wrap myself in silk and rest. The week has been long and busy, but I've enjoyed every second of it. My body is simply tired today, causing my mindset to slow down as well.
I have begun talking to a teacher and biologist online. He is rather fascinating and through some scholarly discussions, I've come to realize that I don't use much of my mind in my present day to day job nor do I interact with people on an intellectual playing field similar to mine. Its refreshing to talk with him and our conversations have provoked intellectual stimulation that I haven't felt since college. My article yesterday was birthed from this inspiration.
In the love life, I am still wrestling with my patheticness. I email the Indian today just because I wanted to say hello. He didn't respond... shocker. It just makes me feel either crazy or extremely desperate. Both these qualities I do not portray on a day to day basis so I would come to believe that I am completely sane and confident. Yet in moments of weakness when I spontaneously reach out with the last clinging sense of hope that things between us will turn normal, I just feel so ashamed for even trying to mend this broken friendship. I'm not the one to give up hope, but this situation is beyond repair and not worth the emotional devastation that its causing.
On a happier not I am going back to DC tonight. :) My best friend from college is back from a world wind tour of the Middle East and the Holy Land. I am very much jealous of him but his gifted life allows me to live vicariously through him, so I am very much appreciative for that factor. And, apparently I have presents awaiting me...:):):):):):) It should be a good night.
Before I depart for Dc, I still think I'll lay my weary body down upon my silk confider and simply rest. I am in one of those moods where I realize how pathetic and desperate I've acted toward my ex India and need to let my self delve into those crevices of my mind, let it out, and then move on. The silk will be soft and comforting, so I should OK in the end.
No comments:
Post a Comment