DTR

When is it too soon to ask a guy, "What am I to you?" The term "DTR: Determine the Relationship" is something that I just recently discovered. Its the dreaded conversation all couples have to have at on point or another. Men hate this talk, women fear it. Its the first, and sometimes the last, chance to lay your cards on the table.

India and I had several DTRs the first time around, all of which led to realizations of end results that were less than beneficiary to me. From day one, India stated he didn't want a serious relationship. For me, that is fine; coming out of a three year relationship, I needed a break from being worried about a guy. But, perhaps our wires are still crossed. For India, a casual relationship means limited time spent together, no fun dates, and just a lot of physical adventures. Well, pardon me if I want more from my encounters with men.

Men don't realize that their lack of desire to do anything outside of making out, is boring! Women enjoy going out, seeing a movie, taking a walk, having dinner! Its not a lot to ask for, so then why don't men step up and put a little effort into keeping you around? The reason could be that men want someone they can chase not just one they can have. In Ms. Argov's book she makes a great point to state this fact. One piece of advice she lends is to see a guy half as much as he wants to see you. I'll admit, I've completely neglected this rule this past week, but due to my increasing unrest and India's lazy nature, I've decided to make this boy work for it from now on.

The one thing that India wants the most from me is sex. I have absolutely no obligation to give this present to him. And yes ladies, sex is a gift, and you never have obligated to give it out. This may at times seem mean spirited or teasing, but what I find mean is when men view women as a play thing, a disposable object, someone who they want to hang with for a half hour and then peace out. So ladies know this and use it well: when it comes to sex, we hold all the power. This power comes with great self control. My father always told me guys view relationships with the concept of "why buy the cow, when the milk is free?" Well, guess what, my milk isn't free and neither should yours. My strategy with India is to keep him at bay. Do things he likes and get him to do things I like as well. I've stated a few things that I want to do and until they happen, hes not getting any milk and cookies.

So ladies, know that sex is in your control and that this is a major DTR factor that can help you not only gain the relationship status that you want, but also helps you get what you want out of the relationship as well. And remember, don;t give away your milk, otherwise you will be a sad empty cow while the fat satisfied farmer is walking away.