Although I awoke this morning with a funny feeling in my heart, I do have to say this weekend was fantastic! I worked hard during the days, partied at night, and shopped like a fiend! The perfect single lady weekend :)
The weekend started with a ladies' night of sorts. My roommate, her good friend from college, and I went down to DC to see Avenue Q. It was a hysterical show... if you want a fun, lighthearted, and realistic show, despite the puppets, this would be a good suggestion. It played with the idea of finding one's purpose, loving and choosing to walk away, and the bond between friends. Overall the messages were enjoyable and the songs were a mix of reality and humor. This show definitely it the, "it's funny because its true" notion on the head. It's playing through the Shakespeare theater in DC.
Saturday, brought with it a busy work day in the new apartment. I attempted to finish the last of the painting by covering the hallway doors and walls with a second coat. Due to time constraints, I only got half of the walls 2nd coated but the doors were all completed... I am disheartened by the way the came out. Though they have 2 coats on them, the doors still appear to have roller marks and small bleed through areas. Although I want painting to be completed more than anything, I want things to look good. This incessant desire for perfection is eventually going to cause me to paint the doors a third time and kill another few hours and my shoulder muscles.
Despite the tiring work, the evening proved extremely entertaining. I had a date with an MD guy. We have gone on two dates now and have had a lot of fun on both...He's sweet and fun loving guy and makes me laugh, which is enjoyable. Unfortunately, there are a few things in his life that cause me to have hesitations about started a more serious relationship with him. Though I do enjoy dating him, eventually I will have to break it to him that I am not willing to pursue things much further than dating. We shall see... BUT despite the future status, Saturday was awesome: we started the evening at a great ethnic restaurant called Lebanese Taverna (very classy style and delicious food), then went to see Inception with Leonardo DiCaprio... IT WAS AMAZING!!!!!!!! Go see it tonight! It blew my mind and was best moving I've seen in a while. The concepts behind the movie, as well as the phenomenal acting and directing, made for a wonderful piece of art.
Then Sunday I went to Mass. It was nice to sit in the peace of the church with God and with all the cute families of the neighborhood. While I was praying, I became really overwhelmed and teared up... I think for a few minutes I missed my family a lot. Its hard sometimes to go to church one your own. I love being there and seeing the families all together, but then I realize I am there by myself and a pang of sadness runs through me. Its OK though, I am a strong independent woman and one day, I'll have my very own family with me... but for now, I'm fine going on my own. Afterwards, I went shopping for apartment decor :) I bought my first piece of painted art work! It is a picture of a woman in the Old Italian propaganda style (I'll try to upload a picture later). She is set in a yellow back ground and is wearing a beautiful black dress and hat and her face is covered... this makes the woman very mysterious. Her body is twisted because she is walking and looking back at a little doggy... because of this feature, there is a lot of movement in the piece, which I love. I am really excited about it and it fits perfectly in our living room which has a large dark red wall. I can't wait to show off the apartment to guests. I have really enjoyed making the space my own and putting my style into it. I look forward to compliments, suggestions, and even words of dislike that may come in our anticipated house warming, I'll be sure to write about it. :)
So after such a busy weekend, I came to work today completely fried! This morning all I wanted to do was drink some chi tea, eat a muffin and read the news... I did just that, oh and wrote this blog :) Now I must get a little more serious and actually do this fun thing called work. What a lovely way to end a fantastic single girl weekend :)
Monday, July 26, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
New Start
Once again, I let this blog go. My apologies reader! I am back now and with a slightly new perspective on things. In order to represent the new chapter in my life that I have begun, I have updated some things with the blog. I hope that the changes are well received and that you know that your support and love is always appreciated.
This new chapter has commenced due to a recent move to a new city. I am now a Diva in Baltimore! Though I will always hold DC in a special niche of my heart, Baltimore has become my new home and is introducing me to a new lifestyle. Don't get me wrong, I am still every bit of a Diva, but the culture, the sites and sounds, and the type of people here are much different from DC. I hope to share these aspects with you, as well as my continued journey to love, and my wild worldly adventures.
My first focus, outside of setting up a new apartment, which is coming along beautifully if I say so myself, is creating a balance of mind, body, and soul. I have been too focused on the drama's of the heart and the needs of the body to work on this balance. When it comes to the soul, despite my deep faith in God, at times I have followed the path of least resistance which has led me to some emotionally complicated situations. I've found that a strong faith can only help you to maintain a strong and upright outlook on life and situations. Faith is that instinct that calls out when you are in a moment of decision: listen to those gut instincts, make a decision, and stick to it, wavering only causes more heartache. And in those moments of need, just pause and listen... listening is the part most people miss, but if you listen, you'll hear an answer.
On the mind front, I need to start to focus on my passion of architecture more. Each of us has that one thing that we can spend hours pondering, working at, and figuring out without ever realizing time has past. Focus on enriching your mind in your passion and it will lead you to random and more intriguing aspects of life. Knowledge is power.
And finally for the body, I am going to start focusing on dance. I love performance and movement. I want to focus my physical energies in becoming a great dancer again and subsequently becoming fit and healthy. If you want to loose some pounds, then start today... they will never go away unless you devote your self to determination and fitness. There are so many options out there to simply embrace movement and physical activity that everyone can find their nook.
I am hoping that shifting my attentions to my mind, body, and soul instead of my heart will help be become more rational with my emotions. I am a Cancer, I am supposed to be an emotional person, but it does not mean I have to be an emotional wreck. Anytime I miss India, my most recent ex, I will write him a letter that I never intend to send. This form of release will help you to get out all that you want to say without causing damage to your self or another. It is the best way I have found to release any anxiety or emotion on a topic without harmful consequences. Try it :)
So followers, I hope all is well in your lives and if it is not, I hope that my suggestions above for my own life can help inspire yours as well. Love is forever, God is good, and everyday is a present. Remembering these things will help you see that there is no need for unnecessary pain.
This new chapter has commenced due to a recent move to a new city. I am now a Diva in Baltimore! Though I will always hold DC in a special niche of my heart, Baltimore has become my new home and is introducing me to a new lifestyle. Don't get me wrong, I am still every bit of a Diva, but the culture, the sites and sounds, and the type of people here are much different from DC. I hope to share these aspects with you, as well as my continued journey to love, and my wild worldly adventures.
My first focus, outside of setting up a new apartment, which is coming along beautifully if I say so myself, is creating a balance of mind, body, and soul. I have been too focused on the drama's of the heart and the needs of the body to work on this balance. When it comes to the soul, despite my deep faith in God, at times I have followed the path of least resistance which has led me to some emotionally complicated situations. I've found that a strong faith can only help you to maintain a strong and upright outlook on life and situations. Faith is that instinct that calls out when you are in a moment of decision: listen to those gut instincts, make a decision, and stick to it, wavering only causes more heartache. And in those moments of need, just pause and listen... listening is the part most people miss, but if you listen, you'll hear an answer.
On the mind front, I need to start to focus on my passion of architecture more. Each of us has that one thing that we can spend hours pondering, working at, and figuring out without ever realizing time has past. Focus on enriching your mind in your passion and it will lead you to random and more intriguing aspects of life. Knowledge is power.
And finally for the body, I am going to start focusing on dance. I love performance and movement. I want to focus my physical energies in becoming a great dancer again and subsequently becoming fit and healthy. If you want to loose some pounds, then start today... they will never go away unless you devote your self to determination and fitness. There are so many options out there to simply embrace movement and physical activity that everyone can find their nook.
I am hoping that shifting my attentions to my mind, body, and soul instead of my heart will help be become more rational with my emotions. I am a Cancer, I am supposed to be an emotional person, but it does not mean I have to be an emotional wreck. Anytime I miss India, my most recent ex, I will write him a letter that I never intend to send. This form of release will help you to get out all that you want to say without causing damage to your self or another. It is the best way I have found to release any anxiety or emotion on a topic without harmful consequences. Try it :)
So followers, I hope all is well in your lives and if it is not, I hope that my suggestions above for my own life can help inspire yours as well. Love is forever, God is good, and everyday is a present. Remembering these things will help you see that there is no need for unnecessary pain.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Love vs. a Lover
Despite my many attempts to leave India, his magnetic pull seems to constantly pull me back in. Apparently, I have the same effect on him as well. But now, just when we seem to be able to have an understanding of how much we talk, when we see each other, and in what capacity- as lovers nothing more- everything seems to change again. The last time we were together, we made love, not just a shear romp or fantacy fulfillment, actual love making. It was the first time in 10 months. Where did it come from? This event came on the same day that I needed to tell him that I may not be able to see him in this capacity any more, that I have found someone new who actaully likes me and wants to be with me and that I am trying to decide whether to pursue it or not. He's always surprises me when I least expect it, that bastard. This is probably one reason why I love him.
Our relationship makes no sense. It is a series of internal battles on either side of the field. Occassionally, these internal struggles are taken out on each other, but for that most part we are doing it to ourselves. He believed we can never be together do to our difference in race and religion. Valid points, absolutely. Yet the polar ends still attract and pull us together time and time again.
On the verge now of a new relationship with someone who will outwardly and with out restraint just love me, it is time for me to put my interactions with Inida on hold. I say on hold because I can ultimately see us finding each other again one day in our lives. Him in and of himself is my tangible idea of man. When I look at him, he is my David, my statue of manhood. I don't think I'll ever find another one like him... but maybe. Nonetheless, I know I need more than a statue, more than a tangible fantacy, more than a lover. I need someone who can love me and I know in this juncture of my life, that person is not India. Its bitter sweet but an experience I wouldn't change for the world.
Sometimes, ladies and gents, we need pure love not just a lover.
Our relationship makes no sense. It is a series of internal battles on either side of the field. Occassionally, these internal struggles are taken out on each other, but for that most part we are doing it to ourselves. He believed we can never be together do to our difference in race and religion. Valid points, absolutely. Yet the polar ends still attract and pull us together time and time again.
On the verge now of a new relationship with someone who will outwardly and with out restraint just love me, it is time for me to put my interactions with Inida on hold. I say on hold because I can ultimately see us finding each other again one day in our lives. Him in and of himself is my tangible idea of man. When I look at him, he is my David, my statue of manhood. I don't think I'll ever find another one like him... but maybe. Nonetheless, I know I need more than a statue, more than a tangible fantacy, more than a lover. I need someone who can love me and I know in this juncture of my life, that person is not India. Its bitter sweet but an experience I wouldn't change for the world.
Sometimes, ladies and gents, we need pure love not just a lover.
Friday, May 14, 2010
The advantages of online dating
So the last two months have been entirely too crazy... First, my car broke down and has been in and out of the shop for about a month. My father worried for a few moments that I was dating a tow-truck drivier due to my sudden need for a tow truck every other day... This is not the case. Then, my job had relocated me back to the DC area which meant a fury of packing, unpacking, schedule changing, and overall rearrangement of my life. And finally, I have been chatting it up and dating it up with multiple men within the Baltimore/DC area...
Men are quite funny now a days. It seems no matter how you play it, they are ridiculously lazy when it comes to realtionships... I joined a free online dating website called, "Plentyoffish.com." The point behind this venture was to simply expose myself to men of varying professions, races, ages, ect, and to open up my mind when it comes to intermingle with men I've just met... Let's face it, while growing up you typically meet men in school settings, through friends, or through extra curicular events... Seldom do you find the man of your dreams at a bar and a relationship of worth actually unfolds. In today's society, 1 out of 5 relationships are begun through an internet dating site. I find this to be a outcry to our society's declining ability to socially interact, but nonetheless, it gave me a bit of motivation to check it all out. So far I have talked to several different types of men on the site. Some are kind and sweet, smolderingly sexy, boy next door handsome, and not in a millions years type guys.... It is not that surprising that most of the kind/sweet guys are momma's boys or far to mushy for me and that the smolderingly sexy kind seem to be more interested in sex then actually conversating! It's the boy next door handsome category that I have been dabling in and have been having some fun. It is interesting to see that guys are very hit or miss. Some are engaging and inquisitive, others give you two word answers... not the way to a woman's heart fellas! But for the most part finding a message from a new cutie, or even a lack there of looks, is a nice compliment to your day.
Men are simple scared now a days to approach woman, especially attractive strong minded ones. I think that these types of sites sometimes help the man learn to interact with the opposite sex more so than the female. If you are interested in getting a little bit more exposure to the dating world, I'd recomend this site. The first week or so may feel a bit uncomfortable and you may not get those types of guys your are looking for right away, but keep in mind, if you can't find a lover out of the ordeal, maybe you'll be able to find a few interesting gents to go to dinner or a movie with. Taking that first leap into something new is always the hardest part, but sticking with it makes the difference... Good luck dating!
Men are quite funny now a days. It seems no matter how you play it, they are ridiculously lazy when it comes to realtionships... I joined a free online dating website called, "Plentyoffish.com." The point behind this venture was to simply expose myself to men of varying professions, races, ages, ect, and to open up my mind when it comes to intermingle with men I've just met... Let's face it, while growing up you typically meet men in school settings, through friends, or through extra curicular events... Seldom do you find the man of your dreams at a bar and a relationship of worth actually unfolds. In today's society, 1 out of 5 relationships are begun through an internet dating site. I find this to be a outcry to our society's declining ability to socially interact, but nonetheless, it gave me a bit of motivation to check it all out. So far I have talked to several different types of men on the site. Some are kind and sweet, smolderingly sexy, boy next door handsome, and not in a millions years type guys.... It is not that surprising that most of the kind/sweet guys are momma's boys or far to mushy for me and that the smolderingly sexy kind seem to be more interested in sex then actually conversating! It's the boy next door handsome category that I have been dabling in and have been having some fun. It is interesting to see that guys are very hit or miss. Some are engaging and inquisitive, others give you two word answers... not the way to a woman's heart fellas! But for the most part finding a message from a new cutie, or even a lack there of looks, is a nice compliment to your day.
Men are simple scared now a days to approach woman, especially attractive strong minded ones. I think that these types of sites sometimes help the man learn to interact with the opposite sex more so than the female. If you are interested in getting a little bit more exposure to the dating world, I'd recomend this site. The first week or so may feel a bit uncomfortable and you may not get those types of guys your are looking for right away, but keep in mind, if you can't find a lover out of the ordeal, maybe you'll be able to find a few interesting gents to go to dinner or a movie with. Taking that first leap into something new is always the hardest part, but sticking with it makes the difference... Good luck dating!
Thursday, April 8, 2010
2 is not better than 1
I have come to find the God has a funny sense of humor and that I am stubborn beyond belief. That saying "Trouble runs in pairs," is completely accurate. It seems that whenever I decide to talk to either The Ex or India, the other one some how pops back into my life. I am no longer interested in either of them in the sense of emotional relationship connections, but for some reason I still chat with them from time to time. This seems to keep holding me back from other opportunities, which I no longer want to allow.
A while back I visited a good friend who I have been interested in for several years and vice verse. Due to my "relationship" with India, I refused to even kiss this cutie. We live very far apart and that one night was the first time I saw him in 2 years and probably in another 2, one opportunity lost....
Now I find that my "trouble pair" is striking again.... There has been this guy in my life for a while now that I am discovering holds the essence of a real man. He is tall, good looking, fun loving, kind, inviting, Irish, and Catholic!!!! This is like the guy I want, but never seem to be able to find. And there he is, hanging out in my life, and I have been too blind to realize. Well, I've finally realized that unless I end the relationships and occasional smooch fests with the other two, this one great man will not be allowed into my life in the way that I think he's meant to be there. Sometimes there are things you can just feel, and in this situation, I feel like I need to stop being an idiot and start being a woman. Even talking to the exes is silly and not worth it, especially if it will keep me away from finding Mr. Right.
So ladies and gents, if there is someone who just happens to be hanging out in your life, start living to be with them. Start making your self worthy of their love, because they most likely are willing to give it to you. Sometimes you can help shape those opportune moments in life by simply wising up to that which is around you.
A while back I visited a good friend who I have been interested in for several years and vice verse. Due to my "relationship" with India, I refused to even kiss this cutie. We live very far apart and that one night was the first time I saw him in 2 years and probably in another 2, one opportunity lost....
Now I find that my "trouble pair" is striking again.... There has been this guy in my life for a while now that I am discovering holds the essence of a real man. He is tall, good looking, fun loving, kind, inviting, Irish, and Catholic!!!! This is like the guy I want, but never seem to be able to find. And there he is, hanging out in my life, and I have been too blind to realize. Well, I've finally realized that unless I end the relationships and occasional smooch fests with the other two, this one great man will not be allowed into my life in the way that I think he's meant to be there. Sometimes there are things you can just feel, and in this situation, I feel like I need to stop being an idiot and start being a woman. Even talking to the exes is silly and not worth it, especially if it will keep me away from finding Mr. Right.
So ladies and gents, if there is someone who just happens to be hanging out in your life, start living to be with them. Start making your self worthy of their love, because they most likely are willing to give it to you. Sometimes you can help shape those opportune moments in life by simply wising up to that which is around you.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Quote of the Day
"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things, in which smiles, and kindnesses, and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."
Humphrey Davy
Humphrey Davy
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Simply Enjoying Life
So I haven't written in a little while and a few noteworthy things have happened in the past week or so.... I went to confession for the first time in about a year. Spoiler alert: I'm a Catholic! Despite its rewarding nature, the Act of Reconciliation is one of the most daunting tasks in the Catholic faith. Not only does it make you stand up and admit your less than admirable moments, but it also gives you plenty of time to reflect on all the bad you have been up to, followed with a pleasant side dish of guilt. Although many people would run from this Act as if it were the plague, facing it sometimes is the best thing for you. I am all about self evaluation, its the only way we really keep our selves in check and also the only way we stay sain and down to earth. The reflection that is generated by preparing for the act is one of the rare times that you can calm your mind and focus on the things you have been doing in your life. Humbling is simply the word for it and that is the entire point of this sacrament. And to be honest, the priests are never really that bad. Any Catholic or Christian knows the priest aren't going to give you a gold star for your sins, but they also arent going to chastize you too badly. I find that I am the harder judger than they are and once again the point of the Act is made: to be aware of your own faults and want to change them.
So on the dawn of this new day, I urge you to go out and simply enjoy your life. Every once and a while do a self check to bring your focus back into perspective. For those religios out there, get to Confession or simply to church, you will find that a moment or two of prayer will help calm those anxieties and stresses in your life. Striving to be a better person takes time, but its a daily effort to change that gets you on your way.
So on the dawn of this new day, I urge you to go out and simply enjoy your life. Every once and a while do a self check to bring your focus back into perspective. For those religios out there, get to Confession or simply to church, you will find that a moment or two of prayer will help calm those anxieties and stresses in your life. Striving to be a better person takes time, but its a daily effort to change that gets you on your way.
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